I can’t believe I am already in Canada for two month, exactly today. Unbelievable. Time flies by so fast!
And there I am again. With a new update.
I really hope you like it. I always have fun writing it and spend time thinking about the last month while get excited for the next one.
f e e l i n g s
It was a month with happy but also a lot of sad days. I hope, one day, I can tell you that I had a month of mostly happiness. I am working on it and I believe that it will happen.
This month I felt very homesick and lonely, even though I wasn’t, of course. It’s so crazy because my feelings changed from one second to the next. Most of the time it happened when I wasn’t working and was alone in the house.
Homesickness hurts. I’ve never thought it would hurt your body but it does. It’s a strange feeling.
I think what I miss the most are people who know me. I really really love my host parents but what I realized is, that they aren’t interested in the me, I was before I came to Canada. They concentrate more on how I am now and what I do etc. but I wish I could tell them about my friends and my family, the hobbies I had. Maybe it’s a good thing. I CAN concentrate more on the now but at the moment I just miss my old life.
Once I couldn’t talk with my family for a whole week because I knew it wouldn’t make anything better. I miss my parents and just being at home. I miss German bread (a lot) and my friends and being silly with my sisters. I miss school. Like, a super lot. I was lucky to have amazing class mates, great teachers and even though I had my struggles while being in school, I regret it a little bit now, that I didn’t enjoy and appreciate my school time more. It has been a good time. A very good time.
Of course, I made up my mind what I can do to make myself feel better. I googled about it.
I went for a lot of walks. I always take our dog Joey with me which is amazing. He is such a sweet boy! And it made me feel better. I’ve never been a big walker before but with those walks I am just me. A 18 year old girl. No-one thinks I am the mom of two kids which bothers me sometimes. I am just me and I can think and walk and just be outside the house for a little while.
During one of those walks I realized that I might feel homesick because of the fear to forget school, all the memories, the fun times. So, I came up with the idea of writing notes about those memories and putting them in a mason jar. With writing them down, I won’t forget them and with putting them in the jar, I have a save place for them and can get my head free for new memories while not having to be afraid of forgetting the old ones.
I think that’s a good start, isn’t it?
Tonight I received a very special message from one of my closest friends. It made me cry and it inspired me.
I will try my best to be the brave and fighting me again for the upcoming month.
e x p e r i e n c e s
meeting other au-pairs
I met a few new au-pairs in my area and I am so happy about it. As you might know, I was afraid to stay forever alone BUT I am not longer alone. I met some new girls and one, who is living near my neighborhood, is super nice and I already really, really like her. We went to Starbucks or for brunch and are already planning our future trips to LA and San Francisco and that is super exciting!
moving into a new room
Yes! I moved into a new room! It’s upstairs and I am so happy about it!
I made up my mind about moving upstairs for a long time. My host dad asked me if I would like to switch rooms and take the one upstairs instead of the one downstairs. The room upstairs is bigger, has a huge bed and, which was important to me, a real closet.
So, I decided I am going to take the offer and now, moved into the bigger room. I really like it. It’s more privat and quiet in the morning.
As you might see, I’ve already started to decorate and try to bring the fallish vibes in my room.
house warming party
The sister of my host mom had a house warming party during my second month here. I just wanted to include it because it was a lot of fun. I played a typical Canadian game with my host parents and even though I didn’t know a single soul, I enjoyed just watching everyone celebrating. Okay, it wasn’t fun at first but after a while it was!
camping at the beach
Yes. We were camping again. This time in the city where I am living, which was great because I had the opportunity to just drive home and have some quiet time. I actually just slept at the beach for one night because it was so cold and I didn’t sleep good in the trailer. Nevertheless, I enjoyed our hours and dinners at this magical spot. Just beautiful.
Probably you’ve already read my pumpkin patch post. One point of my bucket list which I can cross off now. It was amazing. I had a lot of fun. It’s one of the best experiences and I hope I can do it again one day!
I experienced my first ever Thanksgiving. The food was delicious. I made myself vegan smashed potatoes and it was so GOOD! We were at the beach again where I had my first roasted marshmallows and it was just beautiful.
k i d s
I can say that I am at a point right now where I know exactly how to deal with my two girls. As you might know, I had a few struggles, especially with the older one, but these past weeks she was amazing.
Okay, not completely true. At the beginning of this second month, she was really mean to me and made me cry. I was so sad. Of course, I wanted and still want to do everything right and then something like that happens BUT we worked through it.
Like I said, these past weeks, she was amazing. She was so sweet and caring and of course, we had our struggles now and then but I know exactly when she is tired or when I rather buckle her in myself instead of asking her to do it by herself.
The little one is, well , just like a two, well now, three year old. Sometimes a turkey, sometimes the most precious girl on earth. That’s normal and it’s easier to discuss and persuade her than my big one.
Both girls had their birthdays in October and so we had a big party (pumpkin patch) and I made them two Movie Night Invitations. I am not sure if they liked liked it because they were, of course, no toys but we’ll see.
ALSO, fun fact, I made my girls love Mamma Mia. They watched the movie three Fridays in a row and can sing to Mamma Mia and Dancing Queen.
h o s t f a m i l y
I still love my host family. They are amazing people and this month I spend a weekend with my host grandma because my host parents were away. It was a little hard at the beginning, simply because I didn’t know how she thought about me. She was a little distanced and was out with the girls, most of the time.
But after two days, it got easier and at the end she said, she was really glad to have me as a helper. That made me really happy.
This month was also hard because of some personal things my host parents had to face and I wish I could have taken their pain from them. I tried to help as much with the girls as possible and I hope it was helpful.
Like I said before, I struggled with the fact, that they aren’t interested in my previous life. I know, I have to learn dealing with that. Try to see the positive sides of this fact.
I keep you updated how it works.
m o n e y
I have to admit that it hasn’t been a good money month and I’ll start to set myself goals and document everything.
I was A LOT at Starbucks, which is expensive. I have to remind myself of this. Franziska, no Starbucks -> expensive! So maybe, I’ll set myself a goal about how often I allow myself to go. Don’t know if that will work though.
I also got myself Netflix and I totally do not regret it. It is the best thing ever and I will not give it away. I already watched Shadowhunters, Riverdale and This Is Us (oh my cheesecake! SO GOOD!). Can’t wait to watch more!
Books, of course. Two releases, which I had to buy.
And clothes. A lot of clothes. Well, actually big sweaters and fall/winter shoes and I tell myself that this is okay, because I just need those things, which is right, right?
l a n g u a g e
To be honest, I don’t know, if my English got a lot better compared to last month. What I know, is, that I start thinking and talking to myself in English which is super annoying. I still want to use German and am currently working on it.
Also: I started going to an Italian language course and I enjoy it so much.
r e a d i n g s i t u a t i o n
My reading situation. Well. I am not very proud of myself. I could have read a lot more. A LOT more. Probably I am still waiting for the right book. The perfect book. Hopefully it’ll come soon.
I finished reading If there’s no tomorrow by J. L. Armentrout which was a good book. A very good one but not THE book. Currently I am reading Without Merit by Colleen Hoover and I am not sure yet if I really like it BUT I am not even in the middle of the book, so I am still hopeful.
I have been very active on my Instagram account and celebrated two, well, three, highlights: 1) Colleen Hoover reposted my picture, 2) Colleen Hoover followed me and 3) I hit 5k which is just unreal. I mean, why? Why me?
I also really liked working on my blog and I have so many ideas for blog posts. So excited for the new gained time I can put into my blog.
It’s a wrap! My second month in Canada in 1880 words. It always feels so good finishing a post.
What do you think?
Do you like my new way of showing you the pictures? Do you think it looks more organized? I would like to hear your feedback!
Stay bookish and remember you’re amazing!