Who remembers the kids movie Brother Bear? Oh boy, I’ve loved it so much and actually still do. It’s such a cute, inspiring and uplifting movie and I’ve always been a big fan of the movie soundtrack and the songs by Phil Collins.

In the middle of my Au-Pair stay I received the task to pick a song which suits my year abroad the best and after thinking months and months about it, I finally found the perfect fit.

On my way by Phil Collins from the Brother Bear soundtrack.

Tell everybody I’m on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I’m on my way
And there’s no where else that I’d rather be

When I first came to Canada I always wondered if my personality and character will change and if it will be obvious to other people. What I didn’t expect was, that I would notice the change myself. But I do.

Now, looking back at all these months, I notice that I went through phases. I experienced different phases which changed me and made me the person I am now.

Let me explain what I mean.

During high school I struggled with lots of headaches. I had them almost every day and it wasn’t really helping with getting stronger or more confident. My parents went to different doctors with me but all of them couldn’t find anything, which is a good thing but also means that they didn’t find a medicine which would help. Back then I just wished there would have been some kind of a magic elixir which could take the pain away. I became unsure with myself, I put too much pressure on myself and I had a hard time trying to concentrate on something else than my headaches which made school difficult. I was, and still am, so happy though to have my family by my side who always made sure that I was feeling loved and cared for. Really, thank you at this point, Mom and Dad.

Anyways, with the time I learned how to live with it. Still I wasn’t proud of the person I was. My headaches were there from now and then and the thing with school was that I liked it but never felt good enough. Not even when I graduated. Which makes me a bit mad now because, holy cow, I graduated and I can be proud of that, right?!

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I was really excited for Canada because I felt like I could start fully over again. I felt like, I can recreate myself, be a new person.

But it wasn’t as easy as I would have imagined it to be. You can’t just become a new person. That is impossible. I had to learn that it wasn’t about creating a new person, but about developing the person you already are, developing your own character, values and your personality.

And guys, without really noticing, I did.

In the last month of my Au-Pair year, I’ve been feeling more happy than ever. I have been feeling so in ease with myself, my host family and my friends from there. I have been feeling so productive and so happy and full of energy. Of course there have been situations where I wasn’t very content or where I was scared of what will happen when I come back home but after being down for a bit I reminded myself that I can do that. That I will get through it because I can proudly say that I got through so much while being here. The homesickness, the adulting, the cranky kids, the sadness, the goodbyes and I believe that I will find my way at home too. I will not let my headache take my life over again. I won’t let my unnecessary thoughts stop me or make me feel small and useless. I will get though it. We ALL will get through it.

This new chapter at home, including studying, looking for a new job etc. is scary and on some days I am overwhelmed but I try to take the whole topic more calm or I plan to 🙂 let’s see how it goes in the end!

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Maybe you are wondering why I am writing about all this since it shows a very vulnerable side of myself. I am writing this post because I want you all to know that it is possible to get through stuff. It doesn’t matter how hard a situation or your life is at the moment. Just remind yourself, that you are strong, confident, beautiful and worth it. You deserve to be happy, so try to make the best out of it. And if I can do it, then you can do it even more!

I also write this post because I want to look back at how I can feel. How powerful and energetic and positive I can be. With this post I want to remind myself when I am down or sad that I can get through it, that I can be proud of myself and that I managed to live abroad all by myself for 10 months.

We are all on our way with blue skies ahead. No snow or rain will stop us because the sun will come back out.

Not the snow not the rain can change my mind
The sun will come out wait and see
And the feeling of the wind in your face can lift your heart
Oh, there’s no where I would rather be

(…)

I’m on my way

Yes, I’m on my way

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If you would like to listen to the song 🙂

The parts (quotes) of the song On My Way by Phil Collins are from songtexte.com.

 

Can’t wait to see you in my next post!

xo, Franziska

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9 replies on “On my Way: How the Au-Pair year has changed me

  1. My dearest Franzi,
    You cannot imagine how proud I am. We‘ve known each other for a little more than a year now, but in this year you‘ve changed into someone else without losing the person you were before. I am so lucky to have met you before the start of this change so I can fully see the amazing woman you‘ve become. I never had any doubts about you succeeding in every aspect and it made me so happy to see you start believing in yourself more, too. You are so special to me, and I wish I could hug you and tell it to your face: I am proud of you, little sister, I am proud and I love you and I know you will find your way now and make the right decision on what to study. And I am so happy that I get to be part of this new adventure now as well. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Ana, thank you so so much for your comment. You have no idea what it means to me. I wish I could hug you too and your support means everything! It’s so crazy that we’ve known each other for already over a year and I am so happy for everything you have accomplished during this year. Really. You are such an great inspiration for me.
      Thank you so much for everything. Love you lots, Franziska ❤️

      Like

  2. Dearest Franziska!
    Since I think my comment got lost in the Nirvana of the internet, I’ll try and rephrase what I wrote yesterday – because this post means the world to me. I’ve been waiting for this post since the day I discovered your blog all these months ago! I’m beyond happy to read how you grew so much more confident with yourself. You are such an inspiration! Especially since I’m at a crossroads right now and reading that, yes, I can do it, means so much to me. So thanks to you I’ll keep trying, piece by piece, step by step, and I believe that in the end it will all turn out to be okay. Thank you a thousand times for that. I’m so unbelievably proud of you – you seem so calm in this post, so content with yourself and I love it! 🙂 Also – that song is beautiful and quite fitting for the occasion. When I was younger, I used to watch ‘Brother Bear’ with my little brother. Such a precious movie! 😀
    I wish you all the best for the week ahead and those to follow.
    Lots of love as always,
    Ida

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ida, I am just responding now to your comment because I wanted to have enough time to thank you. You have no idea what your words and all your support over this year mean to me. You have always been so nice and supportive and I never thought I could be an inspiration to anybody. So, thank you so so much. That means a lot! ❤️ Lots of love and I wish you all the best for your exams!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I struggled with headaches during school for quite a while too, and no one could figure out why. They even did an MRI of my head to make sure there was no tumour or anything. Nothing. I had to stay home from school it got so bad. The last thing we could think of was to get my eyes checked from a different doctor than I usually go to (I’ve been wearing glasses since the age of 4), and it turned out I did not have 100% vision with my glasses, but only 80% (another doctor even suggested 60%). I’m someone who gets a headache if I don’t wear my glasses for even 2 minutes, so hearing that made me soooo mad at my doctor. So, a change of doctor and new glasses later I was completely fine and my headache was gone (I can tell I need an updated subscription now though, just gotta wait till I get back to Germany from Canada haha).
    Idk if you ever checked your eyes, and I’m not sure if your headaches are gone now (might have missed that part), but that’s what did it for me so I thought I’d share that 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so so much for sharing ❤️ I already checked my eyes and they were okay 🙂 My headache got better now that I am out of school which caused a lot of stress 🙈 thank you so much for sharing your experience!!

      Liked by 1 person

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