Okay, so once again my mind is full of thoughts and as always I need to share them. And as well, as always, I rather write a blog post than talk to someone in person. I can express myself better in writing and I like to share my thoughts with you guys. I know, I am a bit weird because basically I am sharing my thoughts with everyone on the internet but oh well. It will be fine 🙂
Anyways. Let’s get to those stressful thoughts which has been bothering me lately.
As you might know, a few months ago I started applying for different universities and study courses and until now I just received rejections which bothered me a lot. Until today. Today I received three emails which told me I was accepted to go to university. Finally. I was very relieved but at the same time I felt and still feel a bit anxious.
The study courses I applied for were elementary school teaching and two different kinds of media and communication. I love both and I always knew that making a decision would be super hard, especially because they are two completely different directions. Until now I just received rejections of any media and communication course which could be a happy thing since the decision is off the table but I am so scared of making the wrong choice.
Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I know how much I would love working with children and that I would probably be a pretty good teacher. I would even say that deep inside that is what I am supposed to do butI am scared that when I become a teacher, I will be stuck in Germany, in Bavaria. Every school system in every country is different and so it’s hard to get a job somewhere else. At least, that is what I’ve been told.
All I want to do at the moment is to see the world. See different countries and people and be kind of free, if you understand what I mean. Live an adventure. During my Au-Pair I realized how much I love being somewhere else, speaking English, traveling etc.
I know, you probably want to scream at me right now to not be so naive but these are my thoughts at the moment.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want to learn new things, go to university, study etc. but I am scared to make the wrong decision. I am scared going to university, being one of the youngest again, meeting new people and be stuck.
Deep inside I know, I will be accepting the elementary school course and I know I will be happy with it but it wouldn’t be without overthinking and indecisiveness.
I also know, that everything will make sense sooner or later and that I am not alone with all the decisions and new situations. I know, that my family, friends and God will be by my side but it’s still scary. Scary to mess everything up and become unhappy.
Ahhh, guys, I don’t know where this post is going and I don’t know if this is helpful at all but I just needed to share my thoughts.
I know, I’ve been feeling very good in my last blog posts but I think that is also one of the main reasons why I wanted to share how I feel at the moment. I am not happy and confident all the time. No-one is. It’s human and I want you to know. In times of Pinterest and Instagram we might forget about this fact but it’s all just facade and every happy face has sad and angry and upset faces too. Always remember this.
Okay, anyways, that’s an complete other topic.
As a summery, what can you take with you from this post?
Life, decisions, thoughts: Everything can be stressful and scary and freighting but you are never allowed to forget that everyone is going through this sooner or later and that you are not alone. You will have people at your side and at the end it will make sense and you will be happy. You will find your way. I promise you because that’s what I believe in.
Make the best out of it.
Thank you for listening, my friends. As always, it means a lot.
Have a lovely day and see you soon!
btw, Clair de Lune was on repeat the whole time I wrote this blog post! By far my favorite 🙂