Okay, so once again my mind is full of thoughts and as always I need to share them. And as well, as always, I rather write a blog post than talk to someone in person. I can express myself better in writing and I like to share my thoughts with you guys. I know, I am a bit weird because basically I am sharing my thoughts with everyone on the internet but oh well. It will be fine 🙂

Anyways. Let’s get to those stressful thoughts which has been bothering me lately.

As you might know, a few months ago I started applying for different universities and study courses and until now I just received rejections which bothered me a lot. Until today. Today I received three emails which told me I was accepted to go to university. Finally. I was very relieved but at the same time I felt and still feel a bit anxious.

The study courses I applied for were elementary school teaching and two different kinds of media and communication. I love both and I always knew that making a decision would be super hard, especially because they are two completely different directions. Until now I just received rejections of any media and communication course which could be a happy thing since the decision is off the table but I am so scared of making the wrong choice.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I know how much I would love working with children and that I would probably be a pretty good teacher. I would even say that deep inside that is what I am supposed to do butI am scared that when I become a teacher, I will be stuck in Germany, in Bavaria. Every school system in every country is different and so it’s hard to get a job somewhere else. At least, that is what I’ve been told.

All I want to do at the moment is to see the world. See different countries and people and be kind of free, if you understand what I mean. Live an adventure. During my Au-Pair I realized how much I love being somewhere else, speaking English, traveling etc.

I know, you probably want to scream at me right now to not be so naive but these are my thoughts at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want to learn new things, go to university, study etc. but I am scared to make the wrong decision. I am scared going to university, being one of the youngest again, meeting new people and be stuck.

Deep inside I know, I will be accepting the elementary school course and I know I will be happy with it but it wouldn’t be without overthinking and indecisiveness.

I also know, that everything will make sense sooner or later and that I am not alone with all the decisions and new situations. I know, that my family, friends and God will be by my side but it’s still scary. Scary to mess everything up and become unhappy.

Ahhh, guys, I don’t know where this post is going and I don’t know if this is helpful at all but I just needed to share my thoughts.

I know, I’ve been feeling very good in my last blog posts but I think that is also one of the main reasons why I wanted to share how I feel at the moment. I am not happy and confident all the time. No-one is. It’s human and I want you to know. In times of Pinterest and Instagram we might forget about this fact but it’s all just facade and every happy face has sad and angry and upset faces too. Always remember this.

Okay, anyways, that’s an complete other topic.

As a summery, what can you take with you from this post?

Life, decisions, thoughts: Everything can be stressful and scary and freighting but you are never allowed to forget that everyone is going through this sooner or later and that you are not alone. You will have people at your side and at the end it will make sense and you will be happy. You will find your way. I promise you because that’s what I believe in.

Make the best out of it.

Thank you for listening, my friends. As always, it means a lot.

Have a lovely day and see you soon!

xo, Franziska

btw, Clair de Lune was on repeat the whole time I wrote this blog post! By far my favorite 🙂

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10 replies on “THOUGHTS: Going to University

  1. Hello! It’s so refreshing to hear your passion for teaching and the stress that university throws our way, I totally understand. I’ve been there and in currently still there. I’ve definitely let rejections decide for me and immediately discard an option which I have also taken to be a good sign (what is meant to be will be, right?). But I also wanted to tell you that despite school systems being so different, this doesn’t have to limit your desire to see the world! Teacher most definitely can take you halfway across the globe as well! In elementary school, I had American teachers and my sister had an English, an Aussie and Americans teachers, too! I really like your work, livelyaria.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You seem young enough for me to give you some advice so sit down by the fire and listen fo old-man Alex over here.
    I grew up in Germany and the way it went in my shitty little village was: boys will either become handymen or salesmen, while girls will become nurses, teachers, or saleswomen.
    My buddy and I were the two eccentric ones that wanted to be actors or authors. I soon realized that it wasn’t feasible to do one of these and not have a “real” job.
    Then I moved to Canada and started out fresh. I was only 20 and my first job was delivering newspapers in Saskatoon, SK (winters were fun).
    Eventually I ended up in Victoria, BC were I went to college and then university. I didn’t finish my Uvic degree. It was expensive, I was depressed, and I said fuck it. No education for me, just a job, live life and enjoy what I love instead of working hard towards working more.
    Now I’m 29, almost 30 with is legally old, and I’m starting my life new again.
    I’m not saying “fuck school” because it while this turned out to be the better choice for me, it might not be for you. What I’m saying is, you’re only stuck somewhere if you choose to. You can change your life and start fresh whenever you want. Even if you choose one form of education over the other and it turns out to be not your style, you can go back and try that other thing. Time is not gonna stop you until you stop timing…ok that one went away from me, but you get the idea, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for telling me your story! It’s really inspiring and how cool is it please, that you went to Victoria!! My favorite city!! And I will definitely try to be more brave in my decisions now and have your story in the back of my mind! Thank you!!

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  3. Thank you for sharing this with us Franzi! And honey, you are absolutely not naive for wanting these things. Having finished my Bachelor’s, I think about all of this a lot too. I don’t regret choosing a broader program because I loved doing it, but in the end, action is what will show you the things that are right for you. I’m currently stuck at a job that I realized I don’t want (like, literally this second lmao) but I wouldn’t have known that without trying it at first. Now it’s back to the drawing board, which is scary as always, but I also feel like it’s time for me to finally see how living in the UK would be like. Ultimately, this question doesn’t disappear as you get older, so just pick something that feels good right now and don’t worry too much about the future! You don’t know how you’ll feel then anyway, so how can you make decisions for your future self? I wish someone would’ve told me that what you choose now is not what you’re stuck with forever. You can always, always find another way as long as you have courage and strength and an understanding of what you really want. Most importantly: Go with your gut, see where it takes you, and remember we’re all feeling like this! Sending you lots of light, and if you want to talk, I’m here.
    Love, Sandy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sandy, thank you so so much for your kind and encouraging words ❤️ and you are right, I shouldn’t worry about the future at the moment…I think that will really help me because at the moment it feels right to study teaching…thank you so so much for letting me see that. And I find it really brave of you trying at first and not being scared even though you don’t want to do the job anymore. Thank you so so much, Sandy, for everything! ❤️

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  4. Uni is probably the hardest stage in our life, but it can also be the best experience. I never been more free or happy even if I’m not that interested in my studies. I guess the thing to keep in mind is that the world is huge and even if you think you are going to be stuck somewhere, tell yourself that it doesn’t have to be that way. Travelling will always been open for you, and if it’s not in the work sphere, then it will be in trips/holidays/etc, you’ve got time. But I guess, the most important thing is to stay in the present without thinking too much of the futur (easy thing to say, I know).

    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eva, thank you so so much for your kind and encouraging words! They really made me feel better and you are right with traveling. Thank you so much again and I am happy to hear that you feel so free! 😊❤️

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  5. I am sure you’ll make the right choice at the right time! I wanted to teach at one point but now I think I’ll get involved on the administration side more. 🙂 There are so many options!
    P.S. I love Clair de lune too!

    Liked by 1 person

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