It’s been a wild ride, I am telling you. So so so so SO many mixed feelings and I still don’t know if I am happy with the decision I’ve made BUT let me explain a little more and in detail AND from the beginning on.
A little background story
If you didn’t already know I am going to university to become a teacher, more specifically, an elementary school teacher. I LOVE kids just so much. They bring me so much joy and happiness and during my internship at my old school, I realized how fun it is to teach them new things. My mom is also a teacher and so, I grew up with the full picture of being a teacher. With all its great and not so great sides which I am very grateful for now.
Now, before I decided to actually study teaching, I applied for a study course called communication design. I loved the thought of combining my two passions art and writing/blogging or whatever you wanna call it. Long story short, my portfolio didn’t get accepted and that’s how I almost automatically decided to study teaching.
The first weeks
When the semester started back in October I was super stressed out with the whole situation. I still wasn’t living at the place where my university is, which meant I had to either drive there (which freaked me out a lot back then) or take the train which is something else here in Germany haha. For the first few days I took the car but honestly, the stress I went through wasn’t worth it PLUS gas was getting really expensive, so I decided to take the train. Well…as the days got shorter and the weather colder I most definitely developed a hate towards taking the train. I had to wake up at 4.30 am to get to class at 8.15 am. The trains were ALWAYS delayed which made me wait in the cold and even though all my classes where finished by 3.30 pm, I didn’t get home until 6 pm. Can you imagine in what mood I was?
Yes, it wasn’t fun.
I know, I know, since I have so much commuting time, I might as well get some work done, right? I actually did a lot of times but also a lot of times, the trains where just too crowded to even sit somewhere. So, yes, not so much work.
As the weeks went by I really truly developed a huge dislike towards university and studying. It wasn’t fun at all. All the YouTube videos and movies I watched made it look like so much fun but for some reason it was SO not easy for me. I put myself under a lot of pressure to meet new people which I am not bomb in, I wasn’t enjoying my classes and the whole studying system in general. It reminded me way to much of school and in school I literally constantly compared myself with others. While I was in Canada I wasn’t doing it and you know how good it made me feel, so there I was, back in the skin of my old self and I really didn’t like it.
Now, I’ve never been the person to give up after a few weeks but I’ve honestly been debating with the thought and even took a closer look into job offers.
How it got better
You might ask yourself now, okay but what made you change your mind?
Well, honestly, I have no idea.
I met a few people over time and just the thought of someone saving you a seat kept me going. Also, as the days got slightly brighter again, I felt a lot better and I would definitely say I was in desperate need of this winter break. Recharge my energy.
Last month I had my finals and no, they weren’t the best because I am probably the worst at studying but I already passed 2 of four. So, let’s hope the same happens with the other two.
I am going to keep studying and probably commuting for now (literally no rooms are available!) and hope, with the weather getting better and being more used to the whole shabang, it gets easier.
And that’s a wrap
And that is my first semester wrap up. VERY real and honest but it was so important to me to stay real. I am so far away from being perfect. From being the perfect student and honestly sometimes it makes me really sad because everyone around me, including YouTube seems to have their lives and studying and what not together BUT I will try to take that as an inspiration and try to be better at what I do.
We can all do it. I am sure of that ♥️